Sarah, you’re a wife and mum, but there’s something else you do that might be of interest to the readers.
I was looking for something to do in the evenings to keep me busy, perhaps earn a few extra dollars. My son was six months old and I was socialising with a large group of Mum friends. Many of them were also looking at earning a bit extra, thinking about returning to work. Some were doing party plan.
I went to a sex toy party and although apprehensive at first, was really impressed by the quality and range of the products. I started to think it was something I could be interested in. I saw an opportunity to sell something different from the kitchenware, jewelry, cooking appliances and makeup that was already covered.
Wow that’s a bold move. I can understand Tupperware, everyone can use another clever something for the kitchen…but sex toys?
I liked the way it opened up a discussion about pleasure and women’s sexuality. Not in a tacky way, but with sensitivity. The mood was open and inviting, the conversation flowed. I liked the products and thought I could do this well.
How and where do you demonstrate your range of products?
We do in-home demonstrations (Girls Nights), We pass the products around, starting with the mild and ending with the wild. The girls can sample the sprays, lotions and potions and see all the features of the bedroom accessories first hand, instead of guessing whether they like a product and buying blind.
That’s something not possible with on-line purchasing.
Exactly, but we also include in the demonstration a few facts about anatomy, how the female body works during intimacy and show the different ‘tools for each job’. You’d be amazed at how little many of us know about our own bodies.
What do you like about these products in particular?
Surprisingly, 60% of products I sell are bath, beauty and massage products and only 40% are actual sex toys, lubricants and accessories. The company is particularly interested in women’s health – not just the sex side of things! Helping women of all ages who have experienced a lack of sex drive or changes in their body affecting intimacy was also a draw card for me. I liked the education factor at parties.
Aren’t women too embarrassed to openly declare their preferred toy? I can’t imagine anyone ordering a set of anal beads in front of their friends!
After the presentation, women are able to order in private so they can ask us about anything in confidence and we can work out what products would suit them and their needs.
What is the most popular toy you sell?
Times have changed a lot in the sex toy world. I’m finding the most popular toys are the smaller, more streamlined vibrators with lots of functions and soft, realistic feeling covers. There are a few that can stimulate the g-spot, clitoral area and vagina depending on where you put it. They are great all rounders. Also more affordable than the large mechanical looking dual action toys.
We have frank and full discussions about contraception now but it seems sensuality and desire are still taboo subjects for women. What have you learnt about women’s desires?
Women have different needs and desires. Through what I do, I’ve learnt that their needs are diverse. I’ve partied with 20 year old virgins who don’t know where to start with bedroom accessories and women who have had cancer treatment and have lost their libido due to medication. I’ve met young mums who just want to spice things up a bit after the hard yards of dealing with babies and toddlers and women in their 60’s who know exactly what they want (and they want it all)! I like to think I can provide a safe environment for women to open up about their desires. What I’ve learnt is that all women are different; I feel privileged to share in their experiences.
Do you think women are reluctant to embrace their sexual selves?
Women are so hard on themselves. We put a lot of pressure on ourselves to look amazing, while juggling so many other responsibilities. We feel like we’ve failed if we don’t get everything done just right. I think women would embrace their sexual selves more if they had more time! I have also observed that as women get older and have more time, they become more comfy in their own skin, become more aware of what they want and need and will sometimes seek it out.
What is the perfect cure for a dull sex life?
Definitely reading a steamy trilogy!
Thanks Sarah, nothing like a good book to escape into!
And perhaps a glass a lovely Western Australian bubbles to loosen things up a bit.
What’s the best piece of advice you would give a woman who is ‘Too tired’…
Give yourself a weekly/fortnightly goal to make some intimate time for yourself and your partner. Put down the phone/computer/TV remote. The more often you get intimate, the more you will want to! Good old ‘date night’ works a treat. Get kid free for a couple of hours a week – have a meal together, maybe give each other a massage or introduce something cheeky and fun into the evening, so you have something to get excited about. Start small, the grand gesture takes too much time and effort and can often lead to disappointment, if things don’t go to plan.
What does your husband think of your job?
He was not impressed at all when I suggested that I wanted to join as a consultant. He’s quite private and conservative and was of course concerned about his family and friends calling me the ‘Vibrator Lady’.
But he is always supportive of everything I do and knows I will do whatever I put my mind to, so he had no choice haha!
That in itself is sexy.
Yeah, when you feel good about what you do, it can change your whole outlook on life. He came around after he saw how happy I was helping women overcome intimacy issues, making extra money and more importantly how confident I’d become doing something I loved.
Of course discounted and free products come in handy too!
I think both our husbands are benefiting from our jobs.
Most definitely. All in the name of research, Anna??
What would be your idea of the perfect romantic weekend?
There are some gorgeous places to stay in the Southwest (of Western Australia). So maybe a weekend away, lots of wine and chocolate and a spa bath would put a smile on my dial. I’m a foodie: I love yummy, fresh food so definitely a romantic dinner somewhere, with a decadent dessert.
Oh, and no kids! Romance doesn’t exist with a 4 and 2 year old around!
I agree. My kids are grown up. There is light at the end of the tunnel. The sleepless nights do end and eventually you get time to yourselves.
That seems so far off, but it sounds like something to look forward to.
What is some of the best feedback you’ve had from customers?
I hear a lot from ladies who have been to adult parties before and were shocked at how crude or pushy the consultant had been.
Yes, that’s always put me off. But I would happily go to one of your parties.
I love hearing that I’ve made even the most shy women comfortable enough to laugh out loud during the games, share intimate details with me and then thank me for sending them home with a bag of goodies!
Also messages of thanks from women who have found their mojo again, thanks to a new bottle of lubricant and a clitoral bullet.
How has your job changed you?
I can say the words clitoris, vagina and penis without flinching!
I was also a bit of a prude myself before I had my kids (as most of us are), but now I’m confident chatting to anyone about intimacy. I’ve also become aware of just how common women’s cancers are and how they affect self-esteem and sex drive. This has driven me to help raise money for research. In 2014 I completed the 60 km walk in the Perth Weekend to End Woman’s Cancers charity event.
And we’ll be doing it all again on the 27th and 28th of March this year. Hopefully this year we can raise even more money. Doing this walk, meeting these women, feeling I can make a difference has been the very best part of what I do.
What a bloody brilliant effort and gorgeous note to end our chat. Thanks so much, Sarah for taking time to talk. You are a truly surprising and inspiring woman. Good luck with this year’s walk.
Cheers, Anna x
P.S. Sarah will be participating in this year’s ‘Perth Weekend to End Women’s Cancers’ on March 27 and 28. If you would like to donate or find out more about this event, or have questions for Sarah about some of the things we’ve talked about today, she’s happy for you to contact her via email at email@example.com
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The Lost Woman series follows the sexy adventures of Christina as she makes her way through a world of new media, design, fashion, travel, and … men.